November 11, 2014

Do You Ever Feel Like You Suck as a Spouse?

Do you ever feel like you suck as a spouse? I’m not talking about “I should really do the dishes but I’ll let him do them instead.” I’m talking about feeling like you let him down. Wishing you could change something about yourself because of how it impacts your significant other.

I feel this way every time I fall asleep on the couch before 10 p.m. Yes…I realize this may sound trivial to most of you and something that shouldn’t bother me, but it does.

Bad Spouse

You see, this is not something that happens every once in awhile. It happens ALL THE TIME. And I just can’t seem to help it.

My sweet husband is at home by himself for the better part of most days because he is a self-employed entrepreneur.

Yes, he is an introvert. Yes, there are days he has meetings and lunches with other people, but he is alone most of the time.

Now, this IS his choice. For the most part he loves it (as far as I know) and he enjoys being self-employed. I work in a hospital and most days leave the house well before the sun comes up. Between a second job one day a week and my daily exercise routine, I am usually not home until 6 or 7 p.m.

I LOVE coming home. It is the best part of every day. Throughout the day, Ellory and I often talk about what we are going to do that night and how we are going to spend time together.

BUT, the inevitable happens. I sit down after dinner and in 30 minutes (or less) I’m out.

If I’m not standing up or actively doing something, I WILL fall asleep. It makes no difference the type of show or movie we watch, if I sit, I sleep.

It REALLY sucks.

Hell, I even dozed when trying to edit a podcast once (don’t judge me).

I inevitably wake up to my hubs watching something different with a sad and disappointed look on his face. Luckily, after almost 5 years of marriage, he has come to know me so well and gives me a lot of grace.

I am sharing this to hopefully give some encouragement to those of you supporting an entrepreneur.

You are not alone.

There are times where we fail as a spouse. There are times when we could be more supportive, more attentive and more involved. But we are all human.

This DOES NOT make you a bad spouse or a bad person.

For you entrepreneurs that we try to support:

Forgive us in the times when we fail. Give us grace when we know we could do better.


  • Steven Tessler says:

    I do the same thing on my days off. Since I work nights I do my best to sleep as little as possible on those rare days. If I do keep busy I’m out for the count….

    I have an understanding wife so I don’t think she gets upset…. (I’ve never asked?)

    Great post and if Ellory gives you grace then I’d assume he wasn’t mad. I’m sure he’d say something.

    Keep blogging!

  • Ashley says:

    Thanks Steve! I’m glad to hear I’m not alone!!

  • Kellsye McMurtrey says:

    I feel similar!

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